Category — Office Culture

If you are in need of a quick laugh, then check out these hilarious stories about office weirdos.

Office Weirdos: They’re Worse Than You

According to a survey done by Salary.com in 2007, the average worker wastes 1.7 hours on a typical 8.5 hour workday, of which 34.7% is spent surfing the internet, 20.3% socializing with co-workers, 17% handling personal business, and the remainder being divided between things like making phone calls, and taking long breaks. Notice how reading a book was not included? Well obviously, because you would probably get fired a lot quicker than you would checking your personal email…up until now that is.

In what can only be described as sheer genius, the website ReadAtWork.com uses flash to disguise your web browser as a Windows XP desktop running a PowerPoint presentation, only the slides are made up of a book of your choice, complete with pie charts, line graphs, and pictures of people who look busy. Although the selection is rather limited at this point, you can still choose from classics like George Orwell’s Animal Farm, or Oscar Wilde’s The Happy Prince, or if you prefer there’s also poetry and short stories.

Interviewing for a new job is never easy. Between researching the company you’re interviewing with, memorizing clever answers to the typical personality trait questions, and picking out the perfect outfit, there’s a thousand things to get nervous about. But there’s one thing that you always have complete control over prior to walking into that meeting; your resume. The resume is a great way for you to shove loads of your notable achievements in your potential employers face, without the risk of looking like a egotistical maniac by talking your head off about everything you have accomplished in the last 5 years. While filling out your resume is certainly not easy, I am perplexed by how often people manage to completely screw this aspect of the application process up. The reason I am bringing this up is a article I came across today that listed the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever. Its quite funny, here are some good ones:

“Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with”

“Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”

Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.

Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”

TPS Reports are a bitch.

here’s a different angle

I am pleased to announce that I have finally discovered a way to combat the notoriously annoying Office Drummer. Who is this Office Drummer you ask? The Office Drummer is that person who just so happens to be located in the cubicle next to you. The person who spends half the day tapping their fingers on the desk as they ponder menial tasks, without even a hint of regard for your sanity. These people create senseless rhythms by tapping their feet against the cubicle divider while simultaneously rolling their fingernails against the top of their wooden desks.

Although I am usually a very upfront person, when dealing with instances like these, I typically enjoy playing the passive aggressive card, which is why this Waiting Machine Finger by Chris Eckert is all too perfect for getting back at the Office Drummer. While I have never had the patience, or dexterity to beat the tappers at their own game by doing my own tapping, this automated finger tapper is guaranteed to do the trick. Check out the video below!

A man was recently indicted for a money siphoning scheme that bore some striking similarities to the penny clinching scheme in the movie Office Space. Apparently he took advantage of a loophole which occurs when someone links their brokerage account to a bank account for the first time, and managed to collect $50,000 in “micro-deposits” before getting busted, and he didn’t even mess up the decimal places!

Here’s an excerpt from the article:

Michael Largent, 22, of Plumas Lake, California, allegedly exploited a loophole in a common procedure both companies follow when a customer links his brokerage account to a bank account for the first time. To verify that the account number and routing information is correct, the brokerages automatically send small “micro-deposits” of between two cents to one dollar to the account, and ask the customer to verify that they’ve received it.

Largent allegedly used an automated script to open 58,000 online brokerage accounts, linking each of them to a handful of online bank accounts, and accumulating thousands of dollars in micro-deposits.

Read the full article HERE

Ok not really, but the video’s worth a laugh…

                       
I came across a humorous article today on the Business Pundit that listed some insightful tips on how to determine if your boss is an idiot.

Click HERE to read the article.

Not quite sure what to say about this..except that some people have way too much time on their hands.

Found it here.

                           
Not everyone can be a office master, and getting fired happens to the best of us. So for those of you who recently caught the boot, do yourself a favor by getting off the couch and checking out this great article on surviving unemployment.